Spring is Around the Bend......

Spring is finally almost here and I can't believe that we have almost made it to the date we will agagain have health insurance. What a miracle. My husband finally found a job making something similar to what he did previously. While we are still making considerably less than we die before, I finally feel that we can survive and move on. We are more thankful than we can say and we will be paying it forward from now on. This experience has humbled us, made us stronger and made each day so much more enjoyable. I don't believe we will ever again look at a job or income or any of our blessings in the same way.

The names of those who brought us through this period of time are too many to mention them all, but we will never forget! I hope to never let a day go by again without at least offering up prayers for those in need or performing small acts of kindness. I know that our country and our neighbors still have a long road, and we fully realize that circumstances could change and put us right back in the thick of things - we are far from secure and more than likely will never be where we once were.......but we have the knowledge that we can survive and overcome much with the prayers and a hand from those around us because none of us are alone - WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!!

When All Else Fails ~ Bake Cookies!

It seems that when things get tough, we all start to return to the simple things that have made us happy. That has sure worked for us in our current situation. While my husband has been working somewhat, substitute teaching, doing mystery shops, and working hourly at a supermaket - we are still bringing about a fourth of what we once did. Like I heard someone say on a program I was watching the other day, having very little money makes you very creative! So true!!

During Christmas this year, we could not afford gifts (with the exception of the small things we gave our 4 boys) so we had a drop-in and asked all who attended to bring a snack and some non-perishable food items for a local food pantry. It was one of the best Christmas gatherings I have ever had!! The best thing is how good it felt when we took the food to the pantry and it weighed in at a whopping 95 pounds! Since we now know what it is like to worry about your next meal, it felt so good to know that others who may not have a Christmas dinner would be able to feed their families. I think we are going to make this a regular tradition in our family.

Another thing that has really boosted my spirits is something that I used to do years ago. Baking cookies! I forgot how much fun it is and such a simple pleasure. I even baked cookies for our dogs for Christmas from a recipe I found online. It is one of the few things I can still do and I look for recipes that are inexpensive and easy and sometimes we cheat and my husband brings home those mixes when they are on special. Either way, the smell of fresh cookies baking and eating them right out of the oven is one of life's simple pleasures that just don't ever get old.

The New Year is off to a not so bad start so far and we are still working on cutting every corner that we can. We are so very fortunate that our home loan is an FHA and we have been able to get assistance with that. Otherwise we would be like so many others and be in foreclosure right now. Thank you so much Mary Lee (no relation) she was our mortgage lender when we bought this house 4 years ago and she set it up as FHA. God Bless her!!! My sweet brother funded the cable bill for our Christmas gift - he stuffed a hand full of twenties in my hand at the drop in and it was just the exact right amount to cover the cable and internet for another month. My husband's sister gave us a grocery gift card which sure helped us through the holidays. My wonderful boys came together and got a computer for our 13 year old since we could not afford to do it ourselves this year.

Another funny thing is that last year before things got so crazy I accidently gave away a box of winter clothes thinking it was one I had put together to donate. It was, in fact, our off season clothes that I put in our attic every year. Soooo - this fall/winter, both my husband and don't have bath robes, my 13 year old lost his sweaters and I also lost most of mine. The thing that I missed the most was this old ratty bath robe that I had had for years but it was warm and felt so good after a shower or bath. I even started to get depressed when a commercial came on or a television program and a woman was wearing a luscious bath robe - oh sigh - I will never have another one like that in my lifetime. Well guess what - my wonderful 27 year old son gave me he most beautiful pink fluffy soft luxurious bath robe that I have ever had. His long time girlfriend told him that I had talked to her about how much I had missed it. I would never have thought she would even remember it. My Mother-in-law gave me the most beautiful red sweater - cashmere - feels so good!! Now I just have to get a robe made for my poor hubby but he did get a most wonderful wallet which he also needed and it was full of gift cards for a restaurant and Wal-Mart. Life is good!!! We are taking notes and remembering all of these wonderful gestures and we will pay them forward every chance we get. It is the best part of life because we are all our brother's keepers - each and everyone of us!! Oh and all our stuff that we accidentally gave away - like the line in the "Chirstmas Chour" Hallmark Movie - I guess someone else needed those things more than us!

Its a Wonderful Life...... After All!

Yes - Virginia there is a Santa Clause and it is a Wonderful Life after all! We are at about week 12 of our both being unemployed - my husband and I. So much more humbled and optimistic than we were the last time I wrote. We have had many ups and downs in the last months and many smiles and tears but all in all we have been so very blessed and I know so fortunate.

We were finally able to get unemployement benefits for him after 7 weeks of no money coming in. He won his appeal and it was noted that he was not fired for cause - worth more than any money we could have been paid because we knew that all along. You see his only crime was that his new District Manager didn't take a liking to him and in our state you can be fired for the color of your eyes if your boss does it right. Anyway, enough of that, onward we go. He has had some nibbles and a possible job offer - only problem is that he has worked his entire life in retail management and right now there are few jobs available so he will have to start back at the bottom and make what he made more than 25 years ago. But...the kicker here is that if you loose your job for any reason and then you get behind on your bills, the resulting credit problems can cause a real problem getting a job - especially in retail or any job where you handle money and round and round we go. So at this point we are just so thankful for a possible job offer.

I was denied on my first round with the SS Disability and I am working on appeal now. I have turned it all over to a company called Allsup. They specialize in the type of disability that I have and only collect a portion of the back pay if they win. I really feel this is so well worth it because I do well to remember my own social security number much less all of the details that I need and I will no longer have to spend all of my energy fighting this. This is a very good alternative for anyone who just feels they cannot handle the perplexities of something like this.

I always remember hearing that you will never know who is there for you until you have something bad happen and we have so found that to be true. Some friends and family may surprise you and be so supportive and others may dissapoint you and make it hard to move on with your relationship. We have found many surprises and also a few unbelievable backs turned on us as if we actually did something wrong to be in this position.

Well our first wonderful surprise was our adult boys - we should not have been surprised but all the same we would never have expected them to do anything. One stepped in and made a car payment for us to keep us from having a problem and gave us an additional $100 dollars for meds and groceries. Another son was here within the hour with a check for a $1,000 when we found out that it would take weeks to have any income - unemployment or otherwise, coming into our household. Another calls regularly and always checks to see that we are okay and they all are interested in the job interviews, ponderings and endless questions about what to do. Our 13 year old who is the last one at home has been just unbelievable. You would expect him to be fairly bumed out and worrying about his own needs but he has had an exceptional attitude, tried to keep us from paying for school trips, etc. in order to save money. He has not complained or given us any grief about any of this and he is just happy that we are all together and have a roof over our heads.

My husbands parents kicked in another loan to keep the house going the second month and fed us all a wonderful steak dinner to boost our spirits when things seemed low. Many times family and friends just don't realize that the best thing they can offer at times like this is understanding and listening. My sister-in-law has been the biggest surprise of all - she purchased a new washer for us and had it delivered! We were just astounded and would never have wanted anyone to do that for us but we are so very thankful to have it. In the last 6 -8 months we had the dryer go out, the washer died, the freezer went on the fritz and the microwave committed suicide! We believe it is a conspiracy between the appliances - they obviously felt over worked and decided to all go together. Well we were adjusted to taking the clothes to the laundry mat, which we have not done in years and years.....but how wonderful it is to just drop a load in the washer whenever you need to!! No more searching for another pair of jeans for my son as the bus was roaring up the hill - spraying them with fabric softner and hoping for the best.

By far the most dissappointing and hurtful thing that has happened to us, is that a relative who has means and does not have to work herself, told my husband that if we were homeless and living out of our car or it was life or death, she might would be able to help us then! Mind you we are both middle-aged and have never asked anyone to give us anything ever so we were absolutely dumb-founded by this response. She stated that her husband just didn't think it was a good idea to help us......and we aren't talking about lots of money or donating a kidney here.....just helping until unemployment funds started coming in. She proudly told my husband last week that she has "adopted" a family for Christmas and is preparing a basket of gifts for them. Geeze - you can't imagine how bad that made him feel. Again - it is not about what you can give or do - it is about support and understanding. Don't tell someone in this position how you would have handled it better - just be there for them! It's not that hard!!

On to more good - my Aunt called and said she had made us a chocolate dessert - I just LOVE chocolate. Well it was the most wonderful thing we have ever tasted and I can't tell you how wonderful it was after we had been so careful not to waste any grocery money on things like that. We enjoyed that deliciousness more than you could ever imagine. It may seem like a small thing but it was most wonderful!!!

As Christmas nears we are still worried but thankful and hopeful! We have let everyone know that we won't be giving gifts this year (except to our boys!) and asked them to bring food items for a gift basket we are putting together for a group in our area that feeds needy families. That way we can help ensure that no other family is waiting for a holiday to come not knowing if they will be able to feed their family as we were before Thanksgiving! That is such a wonderful gift to be able to give and we are so thankful for the friends and family that will come together to help us with this! As we have learned, we are all in this together and if we can't help each other then what are we here for!!

My oldest Son's Mother and Father-in-law sent us a Thanksgiving card with a $75 grocery gift card enclosed and we all had the most wonderful Thankgsgiving together!!! A dear friend sent me a check for $50 for my birthday, another one emailed and called just to see how I was and kept my spirits up. It all means so much to us and we will never be able to thank them all enough!

Four Weeks and Counting.....

Fall has always been my favorite time of the year! I normally am working so hard about now that I don't notice it or take the time to enjoy it but this year I have to remind myself not to let it slip by unnoticed for the joy of it is much too important!

Well it has been 4 weeks since both my husband and I have been unemployed. I lost the fight for my contract, that I held for 14 years in April, 2008. My husband lost his retail management job on September 17, 2008. So, we are off on a journey that we never thought we would take. Both in our middle years, we never really thought this would be a problem that we would face. We both have worked long and hard, been honest and traveled the road of integrity......but that is not always enough to save you. In fact, sometimes, that is the very thing that will cost you that job you loved so much. While we now travel very uncertain roads, we are indeed thankful for our wonderful boys - 3 out on their own and one still left at home. It is because of them and the fact that we still have some raising to do - our youngest is only 13 - that we brace ourselves for the wind that howls at our backs and threatens to blow us off track. We get up each morning and do the work of finding my husband a job and I work, and it is work, to try to obtain Social Security Disability - I have been disable for years but continued to try to work. Now I find that makes it harder to get any help when you need it. This blog is not about whining and complaining though - it is about the road that used to be less traveled but is now becoming an epidemic in our country and it is happening to an older generation of us. This blog is about how to survive and what we can learn from the journey. I hope to give some good information here to help those who will reluctantly follow along with us or behind us and possibly make their journey a little easier. It is about who can help you when those you thought you could count on are not there for you.....and hopefully we can share a laugh and maybe a tear or two for what we have lost but then rejoice in what we can gain from the pain. You are invited to walk with us if you like. The lesson for today is that we are all in this together - simple sure but we all need to learn it, write it down, and repeat it. No matter who you are or where you are, we all are connected and if we don't help each other then we are not connecting with what we are all here for in the first place!