Yes - Virginia there is a Santa Clause and it is a Wonderful Life after all! We are at about week 12 of our both being unemployed - my husband and I. So much more humbled and optimistic than we were the last time I wrote. We have had many ups and downs in the last months and many smiles and tears but all in all we have been so very blessed and I know so fortunate.
We were finally able to get unemployement benefits for him after 7 weeks of no money coming in. He won his appeal and it was noted that he was not fired for cause - worth more than any money we could have been paid because we knew that all along. You see his only crime was that his new District Manager didn't take a liking to him and in our state you can be fired for the color of your eyes if your boss does it right. Anyway, enough of that, onward we go. He has had some nibbles and a possible job offer - only problem is that he has worked his entire life in retail management and right now there are few jobs available so he will have to start back at the bottom and make what he made more than 25 years ago. But...the kicker here is that if you loose your job for any reason and then you get behind on your bills, the resulting credit problems can cause a real problem getting a job - especially in retail or any job where you handle money and round and round we go. So at this point we are just so thankful for a possible job offer.
I was denied on my first round with the SS Disability and I am working on appeal now. I have turned it all over to a company called Allsup. They specialize in the type of disability that I have and only collect a portion of the back pay if they win. I really feel this is so well worth it because I do well to remember my own social security number much less all of the details that I need and I will no longer have to spend all of my energy fighting this. This is a very good alternative for anyone who just feels they cannot handle the perplexities of something like this.
I always remember hearing that you will never know who is there for you until you have something bad happen and we have so found that to be true. Some friends and family may surprise you and be so supportive and others may dissapoint you and make it hard to move on with your relationship. We have found many surprises and also a few unbelievable backs turned on us as if we actually did something wrong to be in this position.
Well our first wonderful surprise was our adult boys - we should not have been surprised but all the same we would never have expected them to do anything. One stepped in and made a car payment for us to keep us from having a problem and gave us an additional $100 dollars for meds and groceries. Another son was here within the hour with a check for a $1,000 when we found out that it would take weeks to have any income - unemployment or otherwise, coming into our household. Another calls regularly and always checks to see that we are okay and they all are interested in the job interviews, ponderings and endless questions about what to do. Our 13 year old who is the last one at home has been just unbelievable. You would expect him to be fairly bumed out and worrying about his own needs but he has had an exceptional attitude, tried to keep us from paying for school trips, etc. in order to save money. He has not complained or given us any grief about any of this and he is just happy that we are all together and have a roof over our heads.
My husbands parents kicked in another loan to keep the house going the second month and fed us all a wonderful steak dinner to boost our spirits when things seemed low. Many times family and friends just don't realize that the best thing they can offer at times like this is understanding and listening. My sister-in-law has been the biggest surprise of all - she purchased a new washer for us and had it delivered! We were just astounded and would never have wanted anyone to do that for us but we are so very thankful to have it. In the last 6 -8 months we had the dryer go out, the washer died, the freezer went on the fritz and the microwave committed suicide! We believe it is a conspiracy between the appliances - they obviously felt over worked and decided to all go together. Well we were adjusted to taking the clothes to the laundry mat, which we have not done in years and years.....but how wonderful it is to just drop a load in the washer whenever you need to!! No more searching for another pair of jeans for my son as the bus was roaring up the hill - spraying them with fabric softner and hoping for the best.
By far the most dissappointing and hurtful thing that has happened to us, is that a relative who has means and does not have to work herself, told my husband that if we were homeless and living out of our car or it was life or death, she might would be able to help us then! Mind you we are both middle-aged and have never asked anyone to give us anything ever so we were absolutely dumb-founded by this response. She stated that her husband just didn't think it was a good idea to help us......and we aren't talking about lots of money or donating a kidney here.....just helping until unemployment funds started coming in. She proudly told my husband last week that she has "adopted" a family for Christmas and is preparing a basket of gifts for them. Geeze - you can't imagine how bad that made him feel. Again - it is not about what you can give or do - it is about support and understanding. Don't tell someone in this position how you would have handled it better - just be there for them! It's not that hard!!
On to more good - my Aunt called and said she had made us a chocolate dessert - I just LOVE chocolate. Well it was the most wonderful thing we have ever tasted and I can't tell you how wonderful it was after we had been so careful not to waste any grocery money on things like that. We enjoyed that deliciousness more than you could ever imagine. It may seem like a small thing but it was most wonderful!!!
As Christmas nears we are still worried but thankful and hopeful! We have let everyone know that we won't be giving gifts this year (except to our boys!) and asked them to bring food items for a gift basket we are putting together for a group in our area that feeds needy families. That way we can help ensure that no other family is waiting for a holiday to come not knowing if they will be able to feed their family as we were before Thanksgiving! That is such a wonderful gift to be able to give and we are so thankful for the friends and family that will come together to help us with this! As we have learned, we are all in this together and if we can't help each other then what are we here for!!
My oldest Son's Mother and Father-in-law sent us a Thanksgiving card with a $75 grocery gift card enclosed and we all had the most wonderful Thankgsgiving together!!! A dear friend sent me a check for $50 for my birthday, another one emailed and called just to see how I was and kept my spirits up. It all means so much to us and we will never be able to thank them all enough!
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